Those of you who are regulars in the Tuesday Bible studies are aware that CruxHost is the usual presenter. You may also remember that one of his primary emphases is on discipleship, and this is certainly a most relevant topic for us. As disciples, we are expected to have a certain something about us, and it should be obvious to those who come into contact with us that there is something that separates us from the rest of the world. It may not be the way we look, it may not always be the way we dress, or even necessarily what we do... But it should certainly be apparent (at least after a little while of being around us) in the way we speak.

So tonight we’ll talk about conversation/communication for a while, the way we relate to each other. It should be pretty basic material, nothing too deep or detailed, but I feel it’s essential nonetheless, and certainly any of us who are members of a "chat" room can’t help but admit it’s a timely message. So... if at any time we are going too fast for someone’s liking, please let me know, and about any questions you may have as well. After, all, the topic IS clear communication, and it would be rather ironic of someone misses something important about THIS subject.

Now, there are many verses that refer to this matter, such as: "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Heb 13:5)

Also: "Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom." (James 3:13)

And... "But as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation." (1 Peter 1:15)

There are many more, of course, perhaps some of you might suggest some?
(Examples are: 1 Peter 2:12, 1 Peter 3:16, 2 Peter 3:11)

Peter seems very concerned with what we say, doesn’t he? And look at the attributes our speech is to reflect: without covetousness, knowledge, wisdom, meekness, even holiness. See this?

Peter’s fellow Apostle James seems to focus on our language just as much saying, "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body." (James 3:2)

He spoke of the opposite side of the coin also, "If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain." (James 1:26)

But look at this, how concerned they are with how we communicate; James says, "Oh, if you could only control the way you talk, the rest is easy!" If we can learn to claim things, speaking from our hearts, we become more and more like Christ. "For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." (Rom 10:10) See how important our mouths are?

For how did our Example do things? Christ spoke the word, and it was done, right? Look at John 5:8-9: "Jesus saith unto him, 'Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.' And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked: and on the same day was the sabbath."

We’re encouraged to be like that, to have our words MEAN something special. We may not all be able to heal the sick (yet), but we can at least "bridle our tongues," and so lead all of our lives that way. Look at the four living creatures that stand the closest to the throne of the Father... as I’d shared with someone in chat a few evenings ago, everything they say means, "Holy, Holy, Holy," and gives glory and honor to God. (Rev 4:8&9) The closer we get to Him, the more like this we become.

So the question becomes, what happens when we say something and someone says something else? Anoter opinion? Especially if this person is a fellow Christian, we may immediately feel the urge to rush in and "save" the person from their wrong thinking, right? I’ve been in Mars’ Hill a few times, I’ve seen the principle in action. We need to remember, Christ is our only Savior.

This brings us to the first of the three really central verses we’ll discuss tonight:
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) And another is like it: "By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone." (Pro 25:15)

It all comes down to discipleship, following the example Christ set for us while He was with us. We know that His disciples had lots of problems trying to be "right," or at least "more right" than all the others. It eventually came to the point where their inner turmoil was obvious to outsiders as well, and to such a point where it would actually be a detriment to their Master’s mission, so He confronted them about it.

"And He came to Capernaum: and being in the house He asked them, 'What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?' But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest. And He sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, 'If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.' And He took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when He had taken him in His arms, he said unto them, 'Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but Him that sent me.'" (Mark 9:33-37) He set an infant before them, and showed them the child’s perfect trust and complete lack of self-justification, and He gave them a nice, long speech about the benefits of working together in unity. He said, "Don’t argue with each other about such petty things; who isn’t against us can only help. If you keep fighting like this, you risk offending onlookers, and our message will be lost." Those are paraphrases of verses 41 and 42 of Mark 9, and it would be good if we would all read His conversation with them (verses 33 to 50) whenever we feel the urge to "do God a favor," by correcting one of His erring children. But let’s look for now at how He concluded the discussion. "Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another." (Mark 9:50)

"Have PEACE," He said. We may disagree on certain things, but if we treat each other with disrespect, who is the real victim? Any ideas? We may suffer, but at least we already know Christ. Onlookers may not have that blessing yet.

Christ said once, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father." Now, we are to say, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Son." Christ is in Heaven, working for us. Now, are we to say that the people who are alive today have a disadvantage over those who lived in Judea while He was on earth? Doesn’t seem very fair, does it? Therefore WE need to be the example for those who don’t know Him yet!

We are the "Za’aq-iEl," the "Loud cry of God," to show others the way to repentance and life everlasting. It is our job to lead others to Christ, for those who didn’t see Him in the flesh are to have no less of a chance of being able to get the idea: God is love. If we are so busy fighting amongst ourselves, we are actually endangering those for whom the Father has called us to be witnesses.

I don’t say we are to just accept anything. Christianity has its standards as well, of course. A true follower WILL have certain beliefs, and do things a certain way, and the truth is, we are encouraged to help each other grow. There is a common phrase, "Judge not, that ye be not judged," (Mat 7:1) but that’s not the whole story. If we read the next few verses, we see what Christ was teaching.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (Mat 7:1-5)

He encourages us to look first to ourselves, and see if there is an error in our way of thinking, and then, with humility and (again) Peace, we approach and see if the other is willing to be helped. Of course, there are some who will NOT be willing to be helped. But are we to keep pressing our points until we beat it into their heads?

The passage above actually continues into another verse: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." (Mat 7:6) If they will not hear us, and we have Scripture to back us up, why do we need to justify ourselves, since we’re so sure we’re right? We have shown them from the Word what we are trying to say, and if they will not hear, leave the Spirit to do it. That isn’t our job... we are not sent to convince, but to reveal. Look at the 35th Psalm. "Plead my cause, O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me." (Psa 35:1) God is quite capable of defending Himself. He doesn’t need us :)

So then, we are not to be above others, pushing them down on their knees to worship, but rather, we are to be on our knees ourselves, earnestly inviting others to join us. If we keep this in mind, I promise - a lot of unnecessary conflicts will be avoided.

There is a similar principle involved when someone does something that directly affects you: "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established." (Mat 18:15-16) There are further steps outlined in the following verses, but hopefully it shouldn’t come to that too often. But it’s just this: be open, be honest, and be respectful. And again, have something to back you up too, if you’ll notice... preferably Scripture.

So what is it that we have from Christ? That special "something?" What is His gift to us?

Grace. Undeserved favor. But what does that actually MEAN? I looked it up in Vine’s Concise Dictionary of The Bible, to see how it was used in the Scriptural context. The word translated Grace... well, there are two Greek words in the New Testament: CHARIS and EUPREPEIA. The latter means simply, "good appearance," speaking of outward beauty, so that can’t be the gift Christ gave to us all.

Now the first word, CHARIS, that has several meanings, you can see, it already sounds like "charity." "That which causes favorable regard" is the primary one, and we see that this is quite reasonable, in speaking of what Christ has given us. Because of His death, we are counted the Sons of God. (1John 3:1) We are considered "in favorable regard" by Heaven because we are covered in our Savior’s blood. But now, we HAVE Grace. We HAVE, in ourselves, that which "causes favorable regard." If we have grace we will act how? Gracefully :)

We will act in a manner which becomes a child of the King. We will treat others with respect, even if we do think they are wrong. For what good does an argument do? The best thing that can happen in an argument is that one person can turn out to be right, and the other wrong. That’s the best thing... from what I have seen, it’s more common that both end up being wrong - in one way or another. We are called to try and help, and certainly to discuss, but it shouldn’t degenerate into an actual quarrel.

Let’s look at words written to another disciple. Timothy was a disciple, a student of Paul’s. All of 2 Timothy chapter 2 is beneficial to us on this topic, but in the interest of time, we can look at a few of the key things that Paul was communicating to his fellow laborer. Well, he starts off right where we left off - with Grace. "Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." (2 Tim 2:1)

Now we come to what may be considered the second of our three "central verses" for this study. "And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient". (2 Tim 2:24) There are many things Paul says on the subject of arguments, or "vain babblings" as he calls it in verse 16, but here in verse 24 is the heart of the matter. Yes, he is saying: feel free to teach and share what you know. But in everything, gentleness, patience and grace should be obvious in our words. That’s how we know if we’re arguing... if someone is getting angry - if the speakers are displaying a lack of any of these. If someone is wrong, we can show him/her gently. This continues in verse 25 and 26: Speak "In meekness, instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."". (2 Tim 2:25,26)

See where the repentance actually comes from? Not from us, is it? God gives it to them. We can show, but it won’t be our power, or our intelligence that brings them to a realization of it. This is key. We aren’t trying to be right, or who is the glory going to? If we win an argument, we are likely only to make the other person angry, not lead them to the feet of Christ. That is quite the opposite of what we have done if we’ve beat them at an intellectual boxing match. And even worse, we’ve surely not done a service to those who have witnessed the spectacle. Read the passage in Mark 9 again, that’s what Christ had to say about this.

The word "strive" in 2 Timothy is translated from the Greek machomai, and in verse 14, where Paul is specifically speaking about striving with words, he says, logomacheo. Many people know "logo" means "word." Christ (the Word) is called the Logos. The second part is from the same root: machomai. It means, "to fight, to quarrel, to dispute." If our discussion degenerates into this level, we know something has gone wrong. I love a good debate as much as the next guy, but if those bad emotions start to guide our tongues, we’ve lost already, and more than just the argument.

How are people of the world to know we are Christians?

LOVE: that’s the "certain something" I was talking about in the beginning. The last of our three main verses for this study is John 13:35 (and don’t worry, it’s right at the end): "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

By this shall ALL men know, He said... not just those who are our friends. Not just those who have spent a lot of time with us. By our words, by the spirit of love we show, even to those we consider enemies... by this ANYONE at all who encounters us will know exactly who our God is, and what kind of a God He is. And isn’t this our whole job as His followers, to show Him to the world? What more do we need than this to be disciples?

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

"And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth." (2 Tim 2:24,25)

"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." (John 13:35)

What more needs to be said than this? :)

David.